Bring a Loved One, Friend, or Doula for Continuous Support
Can't agree more!
Bring a loved one (or more)
We have been surrounded by loved ones to support us through labor and birth for generations. Whether you give birth at home, at a free-standing birthing center, or in a hospital, your loved one, family member, and/or close friend are important to your well-being. They love you in a way that no one else in the room can. They know you in a way that no one else in the room does. They are weaving traditions, generational knowledge, shared history, and a deep commitment to you into a tapestry that embraces you in a way that nothing else in the room can. They allow you to let go, surrender, trust, weep, cry, and heal if needed like no one else can. They will be your people postpartum, through the long hours of feeding and exhaustion, the joys, milestones, and wonder.
They are weaving traditions, generational knowledge, shared history, and a deep commitment to you into a tapestry that embraces you in a way that nothing else in the room can.
Ideally your support people also learn how to support you better through this big unknown journey so that they can be there for you, anchored and authentically, the fears they may encounter in check so as to not affect the energy in the space negatively. Talking about your needs, setting boundaries, reading together, taking a class: all are important in coming together as a solid team.
Have a doula
A doula can guide and support you and your loved ones through your journey. Through much of your pregnancy, your labor and birth, and through your postpartum time, they are there, not just because you are a due date spot on their calendar but because you are now woven into their lives for a moment in time too, adding to their tapestry as they add to yours.
A doula comes with the experience that your loved ones may not have. A doula has knowledge about the various ways labors can unfold, the physiology of birth, newborn behavior, and breastfeeding, and knows how to give support, hold space, and advocate for you. A doula has gotten to know you, your wishes, and your support people over time, and generally has a wealth of resources to offer.
Even if you plan on giving birth at home or at a free-standing birthing center, a doula adds a unique layer of support, confidence, and care; prenatally, in early labor, through a long night while your midwives rest, to nervous husbands, partners, family members, or friends, in the early hours postpartum after the midwives leave, and so much more! A doula can stay with you if a transfer to the hospital becomes needed so that the transition is a little easier and your support remains continuous.
If your birth does not go as hoped, a doula is there to answer questions, listen, help with communication, and hold space to work through your feelings. A doula is a witness to what happens to you; a witness that you can call on later, when memories come back or questions arise; someone who can help you integrate your birth story into the tapestry of your life.
An older study shows that even when nurses were trained to offer doula support and provided 1:1 care for their patients, the cesarean rates did not change compared to standard nursing care. The reason for this was possibly that the benefits of continuous support from a nurse were overpowered by an environment characterized by high rates of routine medical interventions. A doula does not need to navigate this environment the same way and has only one hat to put on.
There is no known harm!
You deserve to have all of it if you wish: loved one, family, friend, doula! The continuous support and presence that non-medical people on your team provide is absolutely unique to you, unparalleled, and only enhances your hormones and therefore your birth and your birth experience. There is no known harm!
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